Nasty weather yesterday - hope that's the last of it! This week we were treated to six interesting narratives: one about how a volleyball team overcame feelings of hopelessness and fatigue through song, and to their surprise, the opposing spectators kindly joining in; another about a hurricane-dampened trip to Disney World and choosing to make the best of it; one about a first trip away from home - the results being greater confidence; one looking at an extreme style of "parenting" and concerns about the development of children; one illustrating the business and ethics dilemma - earning money vs. building relationships; and lastly, hearing about a first job and how experienced employees ought to remember the way new workers feel and treat them with respect.
Our lecture this week was about contrasting views in education: aiming for universal "world citizens" or encouraging local, distinct, multicultural identies. Thanks again to everyone for being willing to move out of their comfort zone - this is an opportunity for great learning. The image is from the cover of our story this week, "Brokeback Mountain".
Please check this blog again Tuesday night to find out about the status of class on Wednesday, March 4. In any case, continue to work on your papers and narratives. Stay well.
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I have a confession to make… I did not read Brokeback Mountain. I did, however, like most students in my generation, watch the movie in lieu. I first (the first and only time I had) saw the movie about two years ago when it was first released on video. And what struck me most before watching it was the sheer power the movie had to garnish attention.
It was an in prompt to evening out with a buddy of mine, wondering around the SFU residences when we happened upon two exchange students who my friend knew. The two girls were visiting SFU on a semester abroad from the Netherlands, and for reasons still unknown to me, we called them The Flying Dutchmen. They two girls were on their way back to their house to watch a movie they just rented and asked us if we wanted to join them. Having nothing better to do with our time, my friend and I agreed and started out with the girls back to their house. Once inside, and settles on the couch, I asked one of the girls what movie they rented. In broken English, with a heavy accent, she told me they rented Brokeback Mountain. Instantly, my friend and I began to second guess what we had gotten our selfs into. Not that either of us were particularly against the movie, it just wasn’t a film that found itself on our ‘must watch’ list (or on the ‘ever watch’ list for that matter). My immediate reaction upon hearing the title of the movie being popped into the DVD player was “why’d you get that one?” to which one of the two answered, in the same broken English, heavy with that accent that I encountered before, “yeah, because we think it is good to watch the movies that win a lot of the prizes”. I never understood, but the two of them had a habit of beginning almost every sentence with the word yeah. After some time we figured out that the ‘prizes’ that were being referred to were the variety of awards that movie won. The movie wasn’t anything that the girls really wanted to see for any reason other than the fact that it had become a social juggernaut that almost divided people into the “have seen” and “have not seen” polarized groups. The thought of leaving the room crossed my mind before the movie began, but my friend had an interest in one, if not both, of the Flying Dutchmen that extended beyond a casual movie encounter, and everybody needs a good wingman, so I stayed and watched the movie, with English captions because the girls found the conversation in the movie moved too quickly for them to follow (and I’m sure you can understand that some scenes in that movie are better off not being spelt out).
Regardless of my feelings of the movie, or the message that it sent, I am weirdly happy that I did watch it. Not because it opened my mind in anyway, but because it allowed me access into that “have see” echelon of people. Which when you think about it, kind of masks the point of the movie. I find that more people watched the movie for the sheer fact that it was the cool thing to do at the time, rather than being genuinely interested in its message. Is this just another way that Hollywood commodifies certain trends? Does it boil the message of the movie down into a sort of flavor of the month? In which case, can the movie be considered to be worth its salt when some (and I would argue a large percent of people) watch it for no other reason that the fact that it won lots of prizes?
Last week’s class was quite an experience for me. Writing a letter of confession to our parents telling them that we were gay/lesbians. This was very awkward; I’ve seen gay people, know some of them and even friends with some of them but never thought of being gay myself. I don’t hate or discriminate gays/lesbians and I’m just not used to see how they act towards people of the same sex. In class while I was writing this letter, I’ve imagined how much courage one must need to confess to their parents when it’s something very personal and a topic not widely accepted by the public. The letter I wrote was quite short, maybe it was because it was just hard to put my ‘gay’ feelings to words and don’t really know how a gay person feels when they are telling their parents one of the biggest secrets. I’ve never had a talk with my parents about ‘what if I’m gay’ topic; but I know my dad will be very frustrated about it since from their generation they think it’s wrong and men should like women and women like men; simple as that. After having a brief discussion with my friends, we came to agree that mom’s would be more acceptable compared to dads; the fact if her children were gay/lesbians. Maybe it’s the way of thinking is not as old fashioned and signs of motherly love? After class was over I’ve thought about the fake confession letter I’ve wrote several times on my way home while sitting on the bus; I’m still not quite sure if I could hand my parents the letter IF I was a gay because of the courage and confidence needed.
Writing a confession letter to our parents to tell them that we were gay was certainly a new experience for me and caught me off guard. I found it difficult to write the letter so I can't even fathom the challenge people who actually confess to their parents about their homosexuality must face and how much courage they must have. While writing, the only referral I had to how it might feel like was through tv, which we all know is nothing compared to real life. The only thing that I could think about writing is how the sexual orientation of a person doesn't change the person, and the parents shouldn't treat them any differently than 5 minutes ago before they confessed. Something that disappoints me is how people treat people who are gay differently just because they are "different", I have met people who are gay and have some gay friends but I don't treat them any differently compared to my other friends.
Just to add onto what Mike said about movies. I believe that Hollywood does make things into trends and just flavors of the month. The most recent example I can think of is Slumdog Millionaire. After all the awards it’s won, it’s become "the movie to watch" not because it’s an important movie but just because it’s won a lot of awards and because everyone has seen it. The only counter argument I have to that is that had it not been for Hollywood, we would never have heard of the movie Slumdog Millionaire.
This week’s discussions and readings were challenging. I have neither seen the movie nor read “Brokeback Mountain”, to be truthful was unaware and uninterested that it could be read before this class. I found the reading very revealing about human nature and not in the sexual sense at all. I do understand that the writing is surrounding issues of homosexuality but this is not what I took away from the story. I was intrigued at how well the author wrote of intimacy between two people. I don’t mean sexual intimacy. I mean the intimacy that I think all humans search for. The deep connection between people be it men or women. What it means in terms of social and ultimately how they live life, for people that find this connection with someone, and in a way that is against the “social grain”. I have a friend, amongst a close circle of friends, which revealed and has struggled with issues of homosexuality. There are other people I have known as well dealing with these issues. The subject is somewhat blasé for me now. I think that I still have great compassion for those who are struggling with homosexual issues but not because they are homosexual issues but because they are people, struggling in life. It’s the same compassion I extend to everyone and so maybe is the reason why I got something different from this story. Perhaps if I had seen the movie, the shock of seeing the sexual piece of the story would have twisted my perception. I really don’t wish to ever see the movie I prefer to keep my impressions of the writing.
This week’s discussion and readings have challenged me into thinking of the issues in terms of a professional and parental, point of view. As a parent how would I react and see things if it were my child that was dealing with homosexual issues. When it comes down to the “bottom line”, I love my children and acceptance of who they are comes with the job of being a parent, I think. As a teacher, I’m not really sure. I think that acceptance is important even if it is accepting that perhaps someone is unsure of how they feel. Beyond that, the simple answer is to direct someone to more resources for help and information. But where do you direct them. I think that society is gaining more tolerance and openness about subjects like homosexuality but that being said there is still a lot of resistance and intolerance. This is especially difficult of a teenager or young adult that is unsure of themselves anyway. I think that parent involvement and support is important and should be encouraged but would this only close the lines of communication and trust of a student who has come to a teacher for help. I don’t know the answers to questions like these but think it is worth the time to think about and challenge my thinking to provide my students with the best that I can give.
Last week’s topic of homosexuality was very challenging as not only was I asked to put myself in the place of homosexual person by writing a letter to my parents, but examine how I react to people of difference in general.
The biggest point of reflection for me when reading Brokeback Mountain was realizing how intolerable our world is to difference in general. It seems that whenever someone, or group of people deviate from the norms of society, the general public reacts horribly. This accounts for differences in religion, sexuality, abilities, and so on. I have seen kids who look and act different be bullied on the playground, people attacked for opposing religious beliefs and people of different abilities be ridiculed. I think the way that people of difference are treated is terrible, and it continually makes me challenge myself to make sure that I am not attacking someone who does not fit what our society deems as normal.
Trying to write the letter really brought out these feeling within me. While I never actually was able to write the letter, I experienced many emotions in the attempt. What I found most interesting was even contemplating writing such a letter, brought out one reoccurring thought of how it would affect my parents and if they would be hypothetically angry or mad. I felt sad that I even had to worry about my own family potentially rejecting me, as I believe, like Sara, no one should be cast down by their family or society for being different. This also made me reflect on how I react to people of difference: if I practice what I preach. I am still examining this issue and am trying to be constantly aware of the jokes that I make, the comments that I react to, and my inner thought processes. This is a challenge, but it is definitely one worth applying myself to.
I have to agree with a little of what AK said before. I don’t think that I have any particular hatred towards gays or lesbians. My main problem is the culture that seems to follow them around. I can’t stand the flamboyant displays that many homosexuals put on whenever they go out into public. The gay pride parade that happens every year downtown is a great example of this. If I were to parade around downtown in a thong all day, this would not be considered socially acceptable and at the very least I would be asked to put some pants on and cover up, if not thrown in jail for the day for public indecency. But just because people are gay they are allowed to be as loud and lurid as they please. I realize that it takes a lot of courage to be openly gay in our society today and homosexuals are unfairly ridiculed every day of their lives. I can respect this and can understand that they are proud of who they are. But there is no reason to go around talking with a lisp and throwing their sexual preferences in everyone’s faces. I have a few friends that are homosexual and I am perfectly fine with what they do behind closed doors. Just like any one of my heterosexual friends, I really don’t care who they spend their intimate time with. But whenever I go out in public with any of my friends that are gay, their whole attitude and personality changes and I can’t stand it. They need to make sure that everyone they meet knows that they are gay. So while I respect all the hardships that homosexuals have persevered through, I would be much more ok with them if they weren’t so loud and flamboyant with their personal preferences.
Looking back on last weeks topic it is still kind of hard for me, not because I can’t understand or cooperate with such a thing but rather because I never put myself inside the situation. I never really had to analyze what gay people think about or go through and how hard it has to be to go against what was once seen as “normal” and open up to tell friends and family. Our reading prompt really hit home with me and made me realize the situation ahead of these people, although put on the spot at the time and finding it a little bit awkward and humorous I found a way to get a couple words down. I tried to take it as seriously as possible and actually consider what I would really say to my parents while also making it as easy for them to read.
After class when I spoke to my friends we joked about the situation of writing a fake letter but ended up having a serious chat about it. Sometimes guys can seem to want to be tough and not show their sensitive side but we really got into a great conversation. Sometimes I think we are just scared of what our friends will think of us if we really do understand the situation, I’ve never really been affected directly by a homosexual person but right now I feel like I could be more comfortable about them then I would have been a week or two ago. Also I feel like since the gay awareness has become more popular people have changed and are not as ignorant to these people anymore. It might always be a problem for our older generations but we have defiantly taken a step in the right direction lately.
I found the group discussions on the topic of homosexuality quite interesting. I had a member of my group point out that religious people, specifically Christians, are intolerant and ignorant towards homosexuals and that they need to get with the times and stop their gay-bashing. While I’ll admit that there are people like that, and unfortunately, they’re often the vocal ones, I’d like to take this opportunity to give a Christian perspective on the issue (as a side note, I wasn’t at all offended by her comments, as I realize that some people are like that!). I don’t agree with the homosexual lifestyle BUT I love them all as people. I know a lot of gay people, I even have family members who decided that they were gay for a time, and I still loved them just the same. What Juliano said is true: the person themself is still the same. I think it’s important that people realize that just because you don’t have the same opinions/beliefs as someone else, doesn’t make them any less of a person. I wouldn’t treat a gay person any different than I would a straight person. I do think that it is important that we address the issue, regardless of our position on it, because pretending it doesn’t exist (as some people prefer to do) is not going to help anything. This is really an interesting topic because it can spark so much debate and controversy, but really, I think it boils down to the golden rule: do unto others as you’d have them do to you. Whether or not they agree with them, if everyone could just love one another and practice the tolerance that is so often preached, we wouldn’t have so many issues.
I have to say that last class was the first time that I've felt interested about a topic and that I actually had a few flashbacks.
I still remember a few years ago when "Brokeback Mountain" first came out, there was the part where they were having sex and I covered up my eyes the whole scene through. In a way I felt they were showing too much and I wasn't prepared to see such things. It's not that I am against homosexuals but for some reason it feels weird to see two people of the same gender being intimate. Soon after everybody has watched the movie "brokeback" became a descriptive word. Whenever people saw someone wearing a denim jacket or a cowboy hat or seeing 2 guy friends together they were called "brokeback". I wondered if that's of any offensive towards gay people.
One time a friend and I were chatting on MSN and all of sudden he brought up the fact that he was gay. It came out of nowhere so I replied that I am also gay. As soon as he really got into the topic I realized the comment I have made seemed rude since I took something serious to him as a joke. Now that I have tried writing a letter to my parents telling them that I am gay, I realized that it requires courage. I wonder how my friend felt when he told me. It must have taken him a lot of courage to tell his friends that he was gay, but was it any easier than telling his parents?
I remember I was talking about homosexuality with my mom last summer in L.A., for some odd reason I just brought up this topic while we were stuck on the highway, and my mom turned out quite negative about it. And I thought what is it to you? Why do you care so much? But I guess after all people can have different opinions.
When I just started on the letter I couldn't stop laughing. I felt everything I wrote was so ridiculous. And I have to say that it was the hardest thing ever. I couldn't even put myself into a lesbian's shoe. I just couldn't. I have gay friends. However, like Shawn said, I feel weird being around them. I don't like all the stares we get from other people when the gay friends get too close. And sometimes you could just tell that the table sitting across from yours is whispering about us, or the gay couple.
This week’s class was a very a powerful class for me. I have to admit that the idea of gays and lesbians was very uncomfortable for me growing up. As I went to high school and post secondary, it became more a little more accepted to be gay or lesbian. I remember in my high school there used to be posters to join certain clubs that were specifically for homosexuals. I usually never acknowledged these and I really had no idea of how difficult it may be for a homosexual to live life on a day to day basis. After attempting to write the letter in class, it made me see things from a whole new perspective and I actually got a feel of how hard it really would be to try coming out especially to an east Indian family.
After class I actually told my mom about what we did in class that day (the letter) and asked how she feels about individuals that are homosexuals. She then started telling me about how she saw a documentary on TV of an Indian man being gay in India and how difficult it was for him. To make a long story short, this man tried everything not to live a gay lifestyle- he got married and try to be “normal” but at the end he simply could not help who he was. She then told me how that as a parent if your child does come to you about being gay- one should support them. I was completely shocked at her response and was not expecting this at all. I mean being part of the Indian culture, this concept of homosexuality is so unheard of or really never talked about at all. (Sadly, it is illegal to be gay in India). So considering this and my mom’s response, I feel that we really have come a long way to accepting homosexuality.
The story, “Brokeback Mountain,” can be controversial if you don’t agree with homosexuality. I believe any kind of love relationship is beautiful. What is wrong with falling in love with someone who makes you happy? Homosexual people fight harder for their rights because it is still taboo or not acceptable in our society. I am sure there are many people who hide their own sexuality. They should not feel scared and embarrassed to be honest about their sexuality. Our society as a whole should open up and accept the reality of homosexuality. In First Nation’s culture, a homosexual man has special status because they believe he has both female and male spirits. A homosexual man becomes a medicine man who, in turn, can help many others. In Western society, First Nation’s
people are considered savages or backward people but, unlike so-called civilized society, they recognize and accept people with differences into their community with respect. Working at a hair salon as a hairstylist, I know many homosexual or as we call them, gay, people. I never feel different around them but I admire their confidence and courage. They know what they want in their relationships. I have had many conversations with them and do believe that they are all born as homosexuals. Our society still perceives them as different. The media represents male homosexuals as strictly stereotypical with feminine qualities, overly exaggerated gestures and as outspoken individuals. I feel that not accepting differences in sexuality is the same as racism. I didn’t choose to be an Asian and nobody can choose their race. None of my friends chose to be born as homosexuals. I cannot imagine going through the life they all went through before they came out and spoke about who they really are. It is scary to think about the reactions of their family, friends and people around them. We all learned that prejudice toward others is wrong, but why does our society still not accept them as human beings? Who made the rule that the only right way to be happy is in a man/woman relationship? I have seen many strong homosexual relationships in which the partners truly care about and have passion for each other. I still support anyone who wants to live their life according to whatever their heart says and is not oppressed by society’s ‘one type’ structure. When we all accept everyone without any biased perspectives (stereotypes) we can build a stronger community and world. I wish that this time would come soon and nobody has to suffer because of their sexual orientation.
I left class early last week because of the weather (hopefully we’ve had the last of it now!), but I was in class long enough to hear the beginning of the topic, homosexuality. I have to say I was a bit taken aback by this at first, however, I continued to think about it through that night and during the week and I think my surprise came from how rarely this topic is brought into the classroom. Actually to think of it now, I don’t remember the last time. Does this maybe say something about our society? Also coming from a Christian perspective, I have to say that I completely agree with Jill’s post. She mentioned the golden rule of ‘do unto others as you would have them do to you’ and this made me think of my childhood growing up. I was constantly reminded of this and still think of it today. As a child it was always, play fair and be nice because you want others to play fair and be nice to you too. And I think Jill is right, the same thing applies to gay people. Although I may not agree with what they do, they are still people, and they should be treated just like everyone else, with kindness and respect. One of the guys I work with is gay and he is totally comfortable with telling people so. He is also one of the nicest and most approachable people at my work. Although I know he’s gay, I see him and converse with him just like any other person (minus the times he makes fun of his own sexuality which often is quite humorous). I think for those of us who are up and coming teachers, we need to think about this, and think about how we are going to bring this topic into the classroom. However, rather than just teaching children to differentiate between certain people, gay and straight people, white and black people, etc. we need to make it a focus to teach children that we are all people, that we all deserve the same things in life as everyone else.
Last weeks class covered a pretty wide range of issues, one being the discrimination of homosexuality, and the second being related to the commitment associated with parenting.
Homosexuality was introduced by reading an excerpt from Brokeback Mountain the tale of two gay cowboys. We then completed a difficult yet interesting exercise of writing our orientation to our parents. This allowed for a small-scale realization of the situation that many individuals find themselves in. Living in a world so fearful of change it is an enormous mental task for these individuals to go through with. Realizing this pain and anguish that is present, it is easy to understand that we all need to be more accepting of individual’s choices that don’t harm anyone.
The second topic we discussed class was the commitment that comes with raising a child. People shared stories of babysitting where they felt the parents were doing a poor job of raising their kids. Although it is quite obvious that children enjoy as much of their parents company as possible it is necessarily our place to make this decision for others.
I cried at the end of this story. The irony of Ennis’ situation, his need to be with Jack but his fear of retribution and the hurt he would cause others a cost he couldn’t pay. He lived his whole life in those few days a year that he and Jack could steel away. But then Jack is gone; Ennis lost his life with his family, still said no to a life with jack and then lost him forever anyhow. I think there is some of this type of tragedy in all of our lives. We often live less of life than we want, put up with we believe we must to get the things we really want. Like working a crappy job because we get, and live for, good holidays. This isn’t a prefect analogy, I get that, but you understand what I’m saying.
Its so sad that in our society two people so obviously in love with one another can’t be together because of the social stigma that goes along with their love. Can you imagine taking your child to see someone beaten to death just to make sure they understood the unwritten, but brutally enforced, rule that men don’t sleep with men? I can’t even imagine telling my child that they couldn’t be with whomever they wanted let alone offering such a grim “warning”. There was an intimacy and closeness between these two men that most of us would be lucky to experience at some point in our lives. Why the shock and surprise that this can happen between men or between women? Homosexuality is not wrong; it’s no different than heterosexuality. I think that people forget that hetero’s make as much of a choice about who we’re going to sleep with and fall in love with as homosexuals, its just because hetero’s are part of the dominant culture that we place ourselves above any who deviate from the norm. There is so much evidence of homosexuality as part of human history. Do we need to waste our time hating and fearing people because they found someone to love?
I liked the assignment this week. Writing a letter to our parents to come out of the closet was a creative writing exercise I’d not experienced before. I love reading and often use stories and characters to feel and think about how I would act if I was a character in the story so this was an extension of that I hadn’t put into play. It made me realize a few things as a child and as a parent. Homosexuality is an aspect of individual personality not to be taken personally and I hope that a reaction would not be taken that way. I would never want to live with such a bone crushing, all consuming secret nor would I want anyone else to. I would hope that support would be there, even if understanding were not immediately available. Stepping outside of our comfort zones is how we expand our knowledge of our world and ourselves, I felt like this exercise exemplified that.
Bloggin’ it up, march 4ish (broke back mountain class)
Well, this week’s reading appears to have stirred up a lot of conversation. My experience of writing the letter to my parents was a little different from what’s been written here. In the event that it turned out I was homosexual, my parents would for sure just be very accepting of that fact and continue in their lives in the same way as before. As a result, I had trouble being anything but flippant in my writing.
The story we read though really got to me. I’d never seen the movie and always thought that the story of Brokeback Mountain was a story about an isolated trip to the top of a mountain. I was unprepared for how visceral and gut-wrenching the actual short story was. The explicitly pornographic parts caught me pretty off guard too, but I think that probably had more to do with the embarrassing nature of the situation of trying to read pornography on the bus than it did the homosexual content. Ennis’s self awareness seemed to be the most tragic part. He obviously knows he has at least homosexual leanings, but in his head these leanings are so wrong that he can’t reconcile himself with adopting that lifestyle, only with dabbling in it every once in a while. Even if homosexuality wasn’t met by murder in Ennis’s world, I doubt if he would have allowed himself to live as a homosexual because of his hang-ups. That is, I don’t think it was just fear of retribution that held Ennis back.
On a final note, and I apologize if it seems like I’m picking on anyone, but the whole deal with the gay pride parade and how outlandish it is has to do with forcing people to deal with a reality they are not comfortable with. And I really don’t think that is a bad thing. Society is uncomfortable with the trappings of homosexual life; in Ennis’s world that manifests in horrible crimes and general hatred. In ours, it is in gay jokes etc. The end result of these jokes is to keep people crammed in an emotional closet because we aren’t comfortable with their biology, potentially damaging their humanity. If it’s nowhere near the same in severity, it is at least similar in nature.
A pretty controversial topic though, and I recognize of course that differences of opinion run throughout; many people I’m sure don’t agree with my designation of homosexuality as being biologically natural, for example.
Also, sorry this I got around to putting this up so late. 6 days after the last person, sheesh...
In today’s class the narrative that connected with me most was the one about being a Nanny and the parents with lots of money not connecting with their kids. I found this very interesting and just goes to show that money doesn’t necessarily make for happiness or making wise decisions. As a single mom I work my butt off to try and provide for my family! I feel guilty sometimes for not spending as much time as I want to with my kids. I often have to miss field trips and special outings at the kids school because I have to work or be at school. I feel bad for those children who are very much competing for their parent’s attention by being upset when they are off to work. I have been in that position many times before but the difference I think is when I get home we plan to have time together or when I go out for dinner or to a friend’s house they are with me.
I also realize upon further consideration that I am fortunate to have my kids because they challenge me and make me try even harder to achieve better things for their sakes and mine!! Unfortunately or fortunately, I will never be rich or have too much money but I know that I will be rich in other ways with the time spent with the kids as well as having my priorities straight. I am for sure not saying that I don’t have bad days and sometimes wonder how I am going to get through this day. But I do know that at the end of the day when everyone is asleep we can start fresh the next day. (Besides doesn’t every kid look so peaceful and angelic when they are sleeping!!)
This week’s topic on gay/lesbians is an interesting one. I find that for people in our generation, this topic is becoming less old fashioned (my parents think that men should like women and vice versa) and more open. My parents are becoming more open which is awesome because they are people too, they just have different interests, but that doesn’t make them different. Last summer, my family graciously opened our doors to 5 semi-professional female soccer players to stay with us. We were unaware of the fact that 4 of them were dating each other at the time. Regardless, they were so awesome and two of them are some of my very good friends. When one of the girls, Annie, informed me that she was gay, it didn’t bother me at all. But I specifically remember her telling me not to tell my parents, for fear they might not like her staying anymore. Once Annie left last summer, I mentioned to my mom that Annie was gay. To my surprise, my mom didn’t even blink. I had assumed that she would have an issue with it because of her age and generational values. I’m glad she was wrong because Annie and those girls were huge inspirations to us! Thankfully, things such as popular TV and movies (Will & Grace and Broke Back Mountain) have opened the avenue for gay and lesbians to be more accepted.
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